My job started taking a toll on me.
I had been working with a Consulting company for 7 years before switching to an MNC 2 years back. I was so enthusiastic about my new job and always gave my best. The first year went smoothly and I liked the work I was given. Though the workload was increasing continously, I didn’t mind since I was enjoying the work. But the second year started to get stressful for me.
I was unable to put up with the work pressure and demands at my office. I was expected to arrive early in the morning and stay till eight at my workplace. There were days when I was working for more than twelve hours in a day. Sometimes, I was even asked to work on weekends. Since my office was two hours away from my place, travelling also added to my woes.
For the past few months, I had started experiencing burnout. My supervisor started assigning unrealistic deadlines for which I had to work my ass off. He would overburden me with work because he knew quite well how hard working I was and would never complain. Sometimes, I really wished to refuse but I was unable to. I did not have it in me to say no to anybody. The stress kept building and started affecting my mental stability. My eating schedule had become so erratic that it started reflecting in my appearence. Plus, sitting at one place and looking into the desktop screen constantly for hours at a stretch was too exhausting, and it started giving me health problems. I would get so tired that it started becoming difficult for me to concentrate. The quality of my work also started deteriorating. I was losing my focus and becoming forgetful as well
By the time I would get back home, I would get so frustrated that I would not feel like talking or interacting with anyone. I missed spending time with my family and friends. I hardly had time for myself. I had thought of quitting my job multiple times but because of the job crunch , I was unable to find alternate opportunities, and I had to continue. In addition, the salary offered in this was pretty good, and I did not want to give up on that. I would often question myself if going after good salary was the right thing to do in comparison to getting into an organization offering better working hours. Earning good money had always been the aim for me but now I started to doubt it.
Out of concern, a colleague of mine had long been suggesting me to see a therapist. But I would refuse and tell him that I don’t need therapy. In the last 5 months, I was so worn out to the core that it made me consider therapy. With regular counselling sessions, I was made to rethink whether I wanted my peace of mind over money or vice versa. I understood that my priority was to take care of myself and my health. In the past few months, I had forgotten what work-life balance actually meant. It was only because of the regular sessions with the therapist that I realised the importance of maintaining a balance between work and home. The therapist also did a number of activities with me, which helped me become assertive. I understood the value of saying ‘no’. I now realize the value of counselling and wish had started much earlier.